Why is it that we always refer to fabulous women as "beautiful"? Isn't there a better word to honor true inner beauty? Why are words like "strong" and "healthy" and "intelligent" so often seen as a back-handed compliment—the equivalent of the famous blind-date compliment, "she has a great personality"?
I recently saw a Hollywood movie where the female star was introduced to a young girl who would become her adopted grand-daughter. The first thing she said to the girl—who was, of course, very cute—was "Aren't you beautiful? Do you know how beautiful you are?" as if that was the pinnacle of achievement for a little girl.
We've all heard about the shameful treatment (in a newspaper I won't dignify by naming) of the late, and oh-so-talented author Colleen McCollough, when this line was printed in the first few sentences of her obituary: "Australia’s best selling author, was a charmer. Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was, nevertheless, a woman of wit and warmth."
Wait, what? Seriously?!
What in blazes does being "overweight" or "plain" have to do with this woman's real life—and the pleasure that she brought to millions of readers? Would that this episode had been the first of its kind—we can only hope it will be the last.
But, I admit, I have been too often guilty of referring to my many bright, talented, incredible women friends as "beautiful." Why do I say guilty? Because when I join the legions of people who see women as primarily (sometimes solely) physical packages, to be judged as meeting or not meeting someone's specifications of "beauty," then I'm part of the problem.
Yes, it's hard to see a woman friend's picture on Facebook and not want to say that they are beautiful or lovely to look at, but I'm going to try hard to think of other words to use. I'm going to try to look past their attractive surface and come up with other words—words that pay homage to the many facets of beauty that powerful bright women share. Assets like generosity, loving-kindness, caring, self-respect and respect for others, insight & intuition, and so many others...
Hmm...I may still use the word beautiful when I refer to women, especially those who may not seen by the surface-obsessed world as traditionally beautiful, though—if I feel moved to...Rules, after all, are made to be broken.
hasta pronto!